Tuesday, 18 December 2007


I forgot to mention that I started another blog for memory stories.

It's cowgirlmemories.blogspot.com

It'll hopefully be lighter fare than over here on the dark side... lol At least I forgot the rant I had all worked out in my head the other night as I was going to sleep.... be glad... be very glad... unless I remember it again... LOL

The anxiety mentioned in the last post is doing a number on my continued cut-back on smoking. I've been praying about it, but also getting very distracted from my resolve.

Memory and Anxiety

(click for larger image)
I did this turtle on a napkin with an ink pen when I was 17.

I just realized I'm having some serious anxiety over forgetting things. I also realized that it's been a big cause of anxiety for a long time now. Because of this anxiety and the fact that it makes my memory even worse and also my pain, it's a vicious circle.

I have so many things I want to do right now, or to remember to do as I'm able, and I'm so afraid that I'll forget any/all of them, that I am in a state of high anxiety. I need to pray, but even that is hard to do when I'm wound so tight. I could make a list, and probably will, but I'm very good at losing lists along with my mind... lol

I want/need to draw and draw and draw.
I want to write stories on my new memories blog.
I want to scan all my old art from way back and archive it on a CD.
I also think I might want to make an album of said art to share.
I need to finish my Christmas stuff.
I need to figure out just what it'll take if I try sell my art prints on Etsy.
I need to keep up on email, because keeping up with friends is an important part of not being so isolated.
I want to keep up on my blog reading and each of the pages I visit regularly.
I want to talk more on Elann and post a few pictures, but I haven't worked up the nerve yet.
I need to show M the etching I have and ask if he wants to look at my scrapbook.
I need to get bank stuff straightened out.
I'm quite certain that's not the full list and I've forgotten things already, or maybe that's the anxiety speaking. How do I know when I forget so easily?!?
I need to take time to relax too, for the sake of pain management and this anxiety is making that difficult.

I for sure and certain need to pray about all this more than anything else! God help me and you too in whatever you're struggling with!