Monday, 6 August 2007

Another aspect of RSD

I feel like my world is falling apart right now. Like I'm terribly afraid of something, or I've lost hope, or all my dreams, or something truly dreadful has happened. I don't feel this way for any logical reason. Nothing has changed in the last few hours enough to make me feel this way. This is a side-affect of RSD. It doesn't happen every day, or every week, or even every month, but this has happened before plenty of times. It is so confusing and awful, because I really feel like I am in the middle of some emotional trauma, even when I know it Can't be all emotional, or even mostly emotional.

I'm trying to get this written down quickly. I hope and pray that this feeling will pass quicker yet, but I want to record what it's like while I'm in the midst of it. It is too painful to want to recall it once it passes, so I tend to shove it as far from my mind as I can. My bad foot feels like it's almost on fire, it's swollen and only an hour or two ago, it felt like ice. I feel nauseous and weak like I over stressed most of my muscles.

After considering the emotional part more, there may be some aggravation of the physical affects stemming from emotions. I have been frustrated and worried and fearful about several situations today. I am also tired and that doesn't help. I have to work past the worst of the physical part before it's any use trying to sort out the emotional stuff though, so I'd best get my rest as soon as possible and hope things look brighter tomorrow. My hope is in the Lord and He will see me through.